Saturday, February 13, 2010

going out

Drex looked quite lost to Leon when he found him in the lobby. He didn't actually look like he needed to go out in that silly T of his with the CPR instructions on it. And he looked as if he just got out of bed with that messy hair of his. Yet there was something delightful in his look. Leon knew he wanted to see him. After all, he was suppose to be Cher's boyfriend. But Leon's roommate wasn't here. She didn't seem to have time for Leon nor Drex these days. Always a busy-body for that best friend of her's Lux. The one who had the real money. The one who was untouchable. Yet, he had to wonder if Cher was in complete touch with Lux, these days. Off shopping or studying something. Well, Leon didn't care anymore.

He'd check this Drex out, and maybe he'd tell this artsy fartsy rich kid where he could go. Because there was a new sherrif in town, and his name was Leon and well, he'd already slept a time or two with Drex's girl.

It was suppose to go that way. But then Leon stood there looking a Drex. Nothing at all like he imagined.

"Have you been ill, my friend?" Leon put his arm around his shoulder to guide him toward the club they were going to, a few blocks away.

"Just tired, I guess." Drex sighed. Only Leon was sure it was more than just college. The figure drawing class and the art history that had him tied in knots. He didn't seem quite right.

"Are you sure that's it?" Leon studied him there under the streetlight on the jaunt to the club.

"I guess." Leon didn't think he seemed so sure. He'd been keeping to himself or so he told Leon.

"Everyone seems to have someone, but me." Drex finally confessed.

"But you have Cher," Leon smiled even if he had kept her a bit occupied at night with the pot and philsophical thinking that turned into perhaps more sex play. He squinted then, thinking of her, as they found the place, that was dark but moody with jazz. They found themselves a cozy booth to sit in.

Leon then bought them a bottle of red wine to share. There was good hearty jazz to listen too and of course, cigarettes.

"You don't smoke?" Leon told him he should. How was he ever going to cheer the dude up. "Well, at least drink some wine, then." Leon smiled as if he was going to be his best bud.

Drex hesitated, but Leon kept smiling and sipping his wine. He spoke of legends in the jazz world. Armstrong. The Duke. Ella. Les Paul. Wes Montgomery. Just for starters.They talked about music for a good long while. Drex began to sip at the wine until his glass was empty. Leon filled it up again and sat next to him as they continued to discuss their love of jazz.

Suddenly, Drex was pouring his soul out about being in his brother' shadow. How uneasy he felt about being his flesh and blood. He just couldn't compete with him. His brother was the first in everything from football to debate. And girls. His brother always had the girls. "More than one, you know. Like ladies man status." Drex winced as if it disgusted him.

"I'm not like him at all," Drex said quiet sadly.

"Of course you're not." Leon put his arm around Drex as he listened to him more. Drex just wouldn't seem to shut up about his brother. Leon wanted to stop talking as he looked into Drex's eyes, but Drex kept talking about the one person he envied the most. His brother.

Leon's lips slightly twitched at the corners. Drex couldn't help but smile back. Was he funny, thought Drex as he stared back at Leon. Perhaps they were just too close. Maybe it was the thought that he really didn't want to be anymore alone tonight than Leon did.


He kissed Drex.

Drex's lips were so inviting, yet innocent. Leon couldn't let it go with one kiss. Now could he?

He saw that Drex's eyes were closed. Leon just smiled wondering if Drex had ever kissed anyone before.

Well, Leon didn't want to tell him he was the worst at it because he wasn't. Only it could be better. He'd just have to teach him.

"Lets go some place," Leon suggested, looking around wondering if anyone even cared if they made out here. But he sensed Drex was worried. Possibly shocked. Only, he wasn't furious. Leon bit his bottom lip.

"I can't." Drex shook his head, no. "I can't go home." As if that would not do.

"Did I say that?" Leon had no intentions of wanting to go home with Drex. That cracked him up, but he tried not to let it show. No, this was just something between the two of them, wasn't it?

"I don't think we should go back to your place, either." Drex looked back at him dizzily. Cher might be there. That would be awkward, to say the least.

"Of course, not." Leon sighed with his fingers in Drex's messy hair. He kissed him once more as if this might be the deal breaker. Leon was pretty sure he'd get his wish. Perhaps they needed to wake up first. He didn't want this to be just alchol talking.

"Look, I'll get the room," Leon suggested there at the coffee shop. No, it wasn't Starbucks and the hotel across the street wasn't a seedy run down shit hole, either. It would be cool. OK, so maybe it wasn't a posh resort, either. But who needed something like that. Just a room.

There was a rush of excitement pulsing through Leon's veins. It had been ages since he'd done something like this out of the blue. OK, just being with Drex was out of the blue. But it was their secret.

A secret. No, they wouldn't walk in together and ask for anything. They weren't a couple. Not yet. Maybe. All right, it was possible. No, no Leon wasn't really into coupling, now was he? It was just going to be for the night which was wearing on. It was quite late after they got out of the jazz club.

The kissing lingered lingered, giving leon time to think.

"You stay here, I'll give you a call. It'll be just fine." Leon shrugged. Thinking, having some time to their selves was just what they needed.

Drex just nodded. He might as well have been a rock that wouldn't move. Of course, Leon was pretty sure he'd have to come back for him, after all said and done. He didn't see him bailing exactly, yet he didn't see him walking across the street alone, either.

He could tell he was scared.

"What? You don't want this now?" Leon didn't need to be a salesman about it. The truth of the matter, couldn't anyone. Anyone. Be there for him. For a change. He couldn't count on Cher. He wasn't a rich kid with nice pools. He was Leon who made a living at online poker and hacking into the Uni to make the grade. He wasn't a criminal, completely.

He thought Drex might break into a convulsion of some kind. He might as well have been helpless by the way he went into a slight panic attack with the breathing.

Leon grabbed both sides of Drex's face then and gave him a longing kiss. "I'll be back for you. I will." He stared him right in the eye then. "Promise, you'll be here?"

"uh, huh." was all he could get out of Drex.

Leon turned then to go. He closed his eyes, almost thinking this was some sort of drug instead. Not this. Not this chance. Not this possibiltiy that maybe. Maybe this was what he really wanted. Couldn't be real, now could it?

OK, getting the room was simple. It was on the third floor. Leon had the credit card key. He slid it in and looked around the room. It was stuffy. He turned on the air. It might help things to have a chill in the room. Perhaps.

He bit his bottom lip, wondering just how hot it could get in here.

A part of him thought about some ice. Maybe some wine. No, he didn't think so. That would take time, and it wasn't really on his side.

No,he had to get back to Drex. Find him before it was too late.

Yes, he was on top of his game. Possibly, not the most well planned, but still truly spontantious. Wasn't it? He liked that. He liked floating into something. It didn't always matter exactly who. No, this was certainly getting him over the Cher moments. Maybe that was just an accident, anyway.

Why was it so important to have the need to be wanted. Well, in a good way. Didn't want the law after him. He just needed something satisfying. Was that too much to ask for? He didn't ask for that much did he? He wasn't pushy. Really, he wasn't. He just needed to be needed.

And that was Drex. Drex needed him. He could feel it as he walked back across that street as if he knew where exactly the morning would take him. It was going to be electrifying.

But when he got there, Drex was no where in sight.

Leon felt himself shaking. He thought he might crumble right there where he'd left Drex. Leon's chest began to ache. Drex's coffee was still warm. Leon took a sip of it as if he needed something to settle him down. He so wanted to throw the cup through the glass window as he looked back at the hotel across the street. It wasn't going to happen. After all.

He sat down then. He supposed he didn't mean much to anyone.

Leon was tempted to call Drex on his cell. Best as well, not too. He didn't want to rush, now did he. He didn't want it to end. But it had. He couldn't change that.

Leon supposed he'd just have to keep himself company. He supposed he could find someone to pay for, but really, he didn't like paying for it, especially, when he thought deep down, maybe they should be paying him.

He didn't do that anymore.

Not for a while, anyway. Usually, it was old cows and who needed an escort for the most part. True, he'd made some quick cash that way. Nice little stash, indeed, to help him with other stashes. It was all, all right. Didn't really have to do that much for the most part. But it could get disgusting. And he wasn't in dire need to do it, anymore. He was pretty much forgotten. He guessed. Leon wanted to keep it that way. Especially, in that circle.

At least he hadn't been that desperate in a long while.

He got up then. It looked like he'd be sleeping alone in a hotel room. Maybe that was the best thing for him. Get some real sleep. Think this thing through. He wouldn't call Drex ever again. Guess they could be complete strangers. That was nothing new.

"Hey," Someone touched his shoulder. "Sorry, I was in the bathroom." Drex almost smiled.

"I see." Leon looked him over, trying to deciper if perhaps Drex had changed his mind, but he hadn't.

"I got nervous. And when I get nervous. Then I have to go pee." Drex told him.

Leon supposed it would have to be something simple like that.

"Ready?" Leon eyed him as if this was it. It was gonna happen. Tonight. Or maybe this morning.

Drex nodded laying down a twenty for a tip.

Never pick sides
Never choose between two
But I just wanted you
-vampire weekend

"I never really liked her, exactly." Drex started in about how he felt about Cher. "I mean, she's OK, to talk to too, sometimes." He shook his head, no.

As if thats all Leon wanted to hear, back at the room.

"That's all right. Nobody said you had to fuck her." Leon shrugged.

"But you'd at least want too, right if it was-" Drex fidgeted.

"Don't give her a second thought, all right." Leon grinned pulling Drex's t-shirt over his head. "Just relax."

"I've-I've never-" Drex squinted as if he didn't want anyone seeing his bare chest.

"Really?" Leon so wanted to laugh but he didn't. He took off his t-shirt too. "You mean, its not a new hobby you've picked up, just recently?"

"No." Drex's voice cracked.

"So, do you want me?" Leon lit a cigarette then and took a puff.

"Well." Drex bit his bottom lip.

"Maybe, you'd just.... want to sketch me, if you'd like. If that would make you feel, um, lets says, better about everything." Leon shrugged.

"I- I guess I could." Drex finally sat down on the bed.

Leon handed Drex the cigarette to smoke while he undressed.

Of course, Drex went into a coughing fit. It might have been the smoke or the sight of seeing Leon unscathed and remarkably comfortable in his own skin.

"What, you didn't think you had that capability?" Leon slightly smirked as he got his jeans back on.

"I-I, uh." He coughed a bit more handing back the cigarette to Leon who then took another drag and put it out.

"Come on, lets just kiss." Leon smiled as he stood close, half undressed, close to Drex, ever so carefully near. Drex exposed a smile. Soon enough, Drex kissed him.

This was definitely not the time, Leon could tell him that he'd kissed his so-called girlfriend and then some. No, he'd never speak of Cher. He could definitely do without her. But Drex, now that was different. He could never know Cher quite like he knew Drex. And he wanted to know him. Every bit of him. His smile on his skin. His laugh next to him.

It was true, Leon knew he was just a player. Always had been because he had to be. There was no other way he could have had these kind of friends, the rich ones, who left him anyway in the end. No, as he wrapped himself  around Drex, there on the bed, he knew he wanted to be there in the morning. And the day after. Oh, and the day after that. They had all the time in the world to get lost in each other.

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