Thursday, December 31, 2009

Marina and the diamonds

One of my favorite gifts this year was a copy of this groups stuff. I so love Marina's voice. She's a bit like Regina Spector and the lead singer from Dresden Dolls. I was captivated by I'm not a robot. I can't wait when their new CD comes out in Feb. But at the moment you can enjoy their EP The Crown Jewels that's out now. I think this is a band to watch for in the new year.

Friday, December 25, 2009

Happy Holidays!!!

Like I should really be doing another fan fiction..I just couldn't help myself. I watched all these old Degrassi episodes of Emma and Jay and now how he's with Manny, but he started out with Alex. Jay is the resident all time bad boy at Degrassi. He steals. He's a drug dealer. Practically was the culprit of getting Spinner into so many bad situations and the real cause of the shooting at the school that changed so many lives. And still there is something likable about him. So here is my fan fic about Jay, Manny and Emma. Is it a love triangle. I'm not even sure myself. A Degrassi Fan Fic.



We had to celebrate last night due to the blizzard happening right now. Hope you all got to spend times with your loved one and celebrated happily. Here, sleep late. Maybe watch Nowhere which is one of my all time favorite movies.

Saturday, December 19, 2009

explicit ills

If there has been one movie over looked..yet so important this past year...it has to be Mark Webber's Explicit Ills. He wrote it and directed it.

It takes place on the streets of Philadelphia. Urban stories of the people who live there. Some very poignant performances from amazing young actors, too.

Such as seven year old Babo played by Francisco Burgos. His performace really moved me as the young son of Rosario Dawson who is bullied, but it doesn't stop him from befriending the bully, as well as depressed actor Rocco played by Paul Dano. They become chess buddies, but when Babo has an asmatic attack it changes everything. Just as in other stories about other people who don't know each other in the neighborhood.
Such as drug dealer Lou Taylor Pucci comes to find love with one of his clients. Both are artistic in their own right, but this movie has it play with drugs in many a scene in all sorts of storylines, yet there comes a time to make decisions. And honestly, Lou did a great job in this role.


This film does show a gritty side of life. It felt very real with so many performances that blended with known and unknown actors which made it a much more deeper film to understand and see how each is linked to each other.

I absolutely loved Martin Cepeda as Demetri in the film who has a bit of a slum like drunk of a Dad, but even so, he finds a girl that he wants so much to be a part of her life and when she tells him that she only likes smart guys. He decides to do something about it.

The big message in this film is the end of the movie about the march where all sorts of people hit the streets. This is where you understand what this is really about. Our human rights. We all deserve health care we can afford. Webber did the film in a way to show the many vibrant colors of where we all come from and where we are going in our daily lives. I'm glad I watched this film.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

a degrassi moment - Nate and Riley - slash fan fiction



OK, you probably knew it was coming. I've been thinking about it for a while. Then I accidentally found this picture of Nate & Riley and thought, why not. I like how the story started, but we probably won't get to see it go anywhere since Riley is trying to make this transition now about himself..without Nate. Unfortunately. There is so much I don't know about the two of them. You only got a hint how it might have been. If only Degrassi has more time for all their characters to have stories.

Here it is. A Degrassi Moment.

Sunday, December 6, 2009

Big Time Rush

OK, so Nickelodeon and Sony music have this partnership. And this is the show that came about. Take 4 teenage guys (supposedly) in the heartland of Minnesota and have them be discovered by the worst (actor) ever.


Not sure how this will fly in 2010. But you've got some cute guys. Granted one could very much be Adam Lambert's little brother if he tried (James Maslow). While Kendall Schmidt is the talented one and for most part, the better actor of the 4. You just know this show could be so much better if they had some real writing involved. But hey, they beat that Jonas brothers show by a long shot on Disney.

In the tradition of the Monkies which was rather campy, you have these not so fab 4 roosting in L.A. in a hotel full of stars of the future. Thus, they encounter all sorts of wackiness. Not to be confused with that movie because drugs would be involved then and well, that would so not be Nickelodeon, now would it? If only it had more Degrassi and less Disney this might be worth the watch, even addictive.

Its cute. But will it sell records? The group actually came out with Big Time Rush the song... the same as the boy band's name. Its catchy and has a beat. This might be what the group should really work on. Their music. If this is what it takes for Kendal Schmidtz and Logan Henderson to get noticed (the latter really is the one to watch for. He should be in movies). Then by all means do so!

Saturday, December 5, 2009

Will it get me into next year?

I've probably been listening far too much to tunes, lately. But don't we always? And this time of year, people are putting new stuff out. And you don't hear it on the radio. Well, you know how it goes to get your tune fix.

In spite of Adam Lambert's fiasco with the AMA & Good Morning America well...all he wanted to do was entertain you. And the boy does know how to hit a high note. Is he the new Freddie Mercury? Not hardly. I doubt Mercury would have ever gone for some of those lyrics. Perhaps he was just old school when it came to rock and Lambert is new school. But there are some electronic beats that can really get you moving if you keep listening. And some might find it addictive. It is by all means..not a bad CD. It just might not be what you are looking for.

Now I have to wonder about the marketing team over there for American Idol. I think they did splendid with Allison Iraheta's CD Just like you. The first song you jump into is very catchy and she carries the song. Iraheta shows you, her variety of things. And she delievers. Now on the other hand, possibly tooo many songs about texting. Relationships and Texting.  I don't find anything much classic about it. Scars has to be one of my favorite tracks on the CD. She has such an earthy voice.

Speaking of earth..who does it better than Owl City? With Ocean Eyes. This CD will make most of us smile. Not trying to be pretentious. Fireflies caught my attention first. But seriously, the whole CD is wonderful. I loved every song on this CD. Perhaps it got me in the comfort zone. Something slightly NeverShoutNever yet PlayRadioPlay!, but more Postal Service and Ben Folds, too..but so upbeat. It won't leave you depressed. I loved the quirky and sincerity of the lyrics. A song somewhere on this playlist has to show up on the soundtrack of something soon. Just has too, or somebody will wish they had put a track or two on their show. But would something like Gossip Girl deserve it? Don't think so.

Sunday, November 29, 2009

Gossip girl gone Vamps




OK, this has to be the worst season of Gossip Girl. Its just gone nowhere even with a threesome and Blair and Chuck in their own Camelotville. It just sucks. So thinking of sucking and how amazing Vampire Diaries has been, I thought...hey, how about gossip girl with a twist. Sort of like what they are doing with Jane Austen and zombies and sea monsters, as of late. So I have killed my 'gossip guys' blog. I know, bummer. But for slash fan fic and all that were looking into it..well, it might have been over the top or would have been and really I can only have just so many Dan & Nate scenes. While Chance was really getting viral there as a serial something another with his split personalities where one was gay and one was straight. It was the gay one, who was his sweet side. Well..I decided to go a different way.

And like you are thinking..not another vampire story..please! You better make it good, Ivy! Well, I'll try. Just see where it takes me..and who knows..there might end up being some gayness along the way too. I'll never tell until I get to that tale.

So here is Gossip Girl gone Vamps.

Sunday, November 22, 2009

a jacob black tale

Well...he put a spell on me when I saw New Moon. I just couldn't get enough. But then again, I wouldn't want Jacob with Bella, anyway.


Check out my new fan fiction, a jacob black tale.

Friday, November 20, 2009

New Moon - review



What would you be doing about now if you had a guy like this in your room?

Well, you know Bella, and many of you do. Who were hungry for yet another part of the saga. A movie just to show you how much she loves Edward. And you got it.

But, on all accounts I must admit...my favorite parts were Jacob's aka Taylor Lautner. And yes, he has so many good things to look at on the screen. But really, he's fresh, and just the guy you'd hope to meet anywhere in America. And he's very well capable of acting so naturally. Throw in some very high tech special effects, and hey, you can fall in love with a werewolf. To bad, Bella didn't.

Honestly, I find the whole storyline just a tad ridiculous (and I know that's the book) of running all the way to Rome to save Edward. I would have liked to have really known what that Edward was doing meanwhile..while Bella was all depressed.. Just being his sad self, I suppose. And Of course, getting to say "don't" quite a lot to Bella in all her recklessness. So pasty too, and a little hard to watch. What's up with that lippy of his? There is was..and then not, and back again. Some how even Jasper comes off looking beautiful no matter what.

The soundtrack looks promising. I just might have to get it. I liked several of the tunes. Well, some of them.



The down side of this film is what a waste of wonderful actors. Well, they got paid and hopefully, it'll keep them going for that really amazing movie out there somewhere for them. Poor Jamie Campbell Bowar, just about three lines, perhaps near the end. And well, I can think how they could have made him up. He was just a bleached zombie. Really, he is gorgeous if given half a chance. And I don't think Kristen Stewart has had an acting lesson yet. I guess you don't have to if you have to look miserable all the time.

At least Michael Welch had his moment, even if it was a scene where he got sick. Really, the Jacob moments were my favorite. Lautner is quite a natural. And well, I like that animal instinct of his.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

the gossip girl way

Is Gossip Girl on its way back up the quality ladder? It certainly seems that way. Last week’s episode was really good. And, GG fans, I’m prepared to say that this week’s installment bordered on great. And the threesome was even better in flashback form! Plus, they added a new character and he wasn’t a dud! In fact, the dude was hot like fire. Chrismukkah has come early!

The major story of the evening was the fallout after the Dan/Olivia/Vanessa threesome. Olivia started to become jealous of Vanessa and Dan’s relationship which basically amounts to a mutual fondness for frowning, caffeine, and Morrissey. It was quite amusing seeing Dan Humphrey strolling down the street like he was a love machine (“Just me, Olivia, Vanessa. Two girls, four boobs, and one Dan Humphrey. How awesome am I?”). Also, the flashbacks to the threesome were waaaay more hot than anything in last week’s much-hyped episode. I wonder if the Parents Television Council tuned in last night.We also learned a much repeated rule of theesomes: The third person is always supposed to be a stranger! Gossip Girl not only entertains, it teaches.



And some one gets paid to write this..I couldn't help myself but find this so stupid to read this morning on EW. And people think last night's show was the best ever. Hmmmm...Its the first one I've watched this season after hearing about the threesome hype that was so lame.


Honestly, the show can't even make guest stars look worth watching. Maybe its the hair products they use. I dunno what was up with Hillary's hair or the one who plays Vanessa, but it was odd. And I wasn't into Serena's little French pony-tail, either.

I suppose this Americanizing the threesome or trying to be what pops up on so many shows across the pond like on Hollyoaks. Still we can make these storylines awkward and quite lame. Perhaps its all the materialism involved. Its hard to find the heart of characters on Gossip Girl.

Last season I'd watch just to watch Ed over act. It was hilarious. He was so fun to watch. I have to admit the one thing they have going on the show is Nate and Dan's friendship. But really this show it quite the same old same old. I'm not sure I'm up to write fan fic about it anymore.

Monday, November 9, 2009

I got nothing



I saw this video on Natalie's blog. And I remembered him, from some time ago. Well, he's such a sweet guy. And dedicated to his cause. Please give his song a chance. You'll be glad you did.

Saturday, October 31, 2009

Something in the mirror by Ivy




Momma always said to stay away from the Hathaway House. No one lived there. No one had lived there for a long time. The Johnson grass hid most of the two story white house now from the road. There was nothing but dark windows looking like errie eyes, giving a creepy invitation.

Sheri Jones said someone was murdered there. At the time I was only seven with big pale baby eyes to absorb the story. Only she didn't know what happened.

"What do you think happened there?" I yearned for another story on those backseat bus rides home.

"We'd have to go there to find out." Sheri swore she knew how to call up spirits from the bathroom mirror. I never was able to call up Bloody Mary nor the Candyman. I'd screech their names a hundred and twenty or so times. Nothing ever happened. Just me in the dark staring into the mirror, wishing I knew who was out there in the spirit world.



Why couldn't it be any easier this time? It took me ten years to get up the nerve to go into the Hathaway house.

"Cause we're not in your bathroom, Page!"

I looked over at Randy Travis. Not the singer, just a whimpy guy I knew in high school.

I made a face, snuggling the flashlight to my chest. The shadow was a Halloween delight. Randy gasped and jumped back almost falling through the wall. A mouse streaked by.

"Nothings happened. Nothing will ever happen." I gave up.

"You look scary even in daylight, Page." Like my attire had anything to do with Bloody Mary. I rolled my eyes. That's all he could find to say about me.

"Thanks, Randy." I smiled. It wasn't a cheap gothic look. Of course, most of my clothes were from salvation army. But to find the strange dark lipsticks and the pale makeup was a mail-order expense. Then there was the fake nose piercing that really freaked Dad out. I still haven't shown him my bellybutton ring yet. Randy doesn't even know about that. Not that my plan was to expose anything tonight except something in the bathroom mirror.

When, just when was I going to meet the people I wanted to meet in my life? Living in an old railroad town, certainly was no Greenwich Village.

"So do you sleep in that stuff or what?"

"This is no time to ask what I do in my sleep. I don't sleep at all, Randy, okay." I was a caffeine addict who thrived on bewitching hours.

"Sorry, I just wished we'd hung out at the cementary, maybe."

"Pushing gravestones over is so disrespective. You have to respect the dead, Randy!" God, I thought I'd gone over this with him before. Does he ever listen to me, really?

"Did I say anything about gravestones. I just want to get out of here." His dark chin length hair hid his eyes which made it all the more harder to have any sympathy for him. In spite of the dark, I wished he had something dangerous in mind. But not Randy. He moped around never deciding who he wanted to be. He just knew who he didn't want to be, a nobody.

"I'll try again." I looked back at the cracked mirror. I started out with some lucious Latin words. To bad I didn't know what they meant. I forgot my book of spells. Maybe I just wasn't dedicated to this sort of stuff. Maybe it was my grandmother still haunting me. She always said if my spirit remained empty like some vessel, and if I didn't fill it up with Bible scriptures, anything could happen. Even bad things could happen in the bathroom mirror. But it was only me, Randy and the flashlight. Kind of depressing.

I remembered those foolish games Sheri and I used to recite. Maybe something would have happened if she were here, but she ran away with a truckdriver.

So I started chanting the words I learned from her. Over and over I began to call up Bloody Mary.

And then like an ember, a face sparkled in the mirror. Struggling to see who was there, no more brighter than a candle was someone looking at me.

My eyes widen. I wanted a closer look. Something was in the bathroom mirror!

I swallowed my fear. Maybe Randy didn't see a thing but he tightened his grip around my shoulders.

"Who in the hell is Bloody Mary?" Someone whispered.

"Did you hear something?" I turned to Randy and a beam of light hit our faces. A force greater than any wind and a heat so fierce came rushing toward us.

"Make it stop...make it stop!" cried Randy. The force surged past me, hitting him, jolting him to the floor.

"Randy?" I flashed the light to the floor where I thought he fell. He wasn't there. Something smelled rancid in the air, like old trash, fermenting too long in the sun.

"Oh, God." Where was he? He wasn't on the floor. I checked the wall. I heard something move in the darkness. Hunting with the flashlight, I saw a rat running down the hallway. Was Randy a rat now? How could I do something like that? He let me paint his fingernails with silver nail polish. He was my only friend in high school. Thanks to me, he was a rat now. What was I going to do, take the rat home and keep it? Mom would just die. People would start asking about Randy. Nobody ever disappeared in Rockford.

My life was....SHIT.

My eyes cringed. The pit of my stomach felt woozy. I was an awful person. I never even kissed Randy. The thought of kissing a rat made me a little jumpy. I sprinted down the dark hallway.

"Randy, where are you?" Could he remember his name if he were a rat? Did he know who I was even if he was an animal?

There was an old naked iron framed bed. Sheets covered the windows. From time to time a car light from the highway would shine through the windows. I noticed the bright light and wondered if it was a spirit, a ghost or what.

"Randy, are you under there?" I thought I heard a whimper. Flashing the light under the bed, there the rat hid. "Come on, don't be afraid. I'll read my book of spells better, next time. I'll do whatever it takes. I'll change you back. I'll stay with you. I promise." It sounded lame, talking to a rat.

Another car light went by. I noticed a shadow by the window.

"Randy?" I stood up and shined the flashlight toward the bedroom window.

There was a chill in the air. I thought I saw a shadow. My pulse raced. I wanted to scream, but I couldn't. I wasn't alone. Or either, Randy was a rat. I couldn't just stand there in the dark and be swallowed by the chill sliding across the room. I ran. I leaped down the flight of stairs, stepping on a rat's tail.

"Randy!" The thought of him being a rat made me cry. "Randy! OH GOD, WHAT HAVE I DONE." I reached for the front door. Only it was stuck.

I heard footsteps behind me on the stairway. Maybe it was just my heart beat drumming in my ear. I grasped the door, kept turning the knob hard, but it would barely move.

I pulled the rusty knob, using all my strength. And then the wind rushed, pushing the door open. Leaves clung to my face. Into the fall night, I ran never wanting to look back at the Hathaway House.


I can't say I slept that night. I didn't. Randy was on my mind. Every toss and turn made me wonder where was he. Was he still at the Hathaway house? Was he a rat?

Monday morning came too early, I pulled myself together, thinking it would be the worst day of my life. Randy would be missing, and I was the worst person on earth. I didn't even take home the rat.

It was true I was a witch. Who else could conjure something like that up in a mirror? I didn't even remember what words I used. Maybe it was pig-latin?

My pasty skin flushed when I turned the corrider and saw Randy standing by the principal's office. Sure, it was a relief to see him human and alive, but I didn't know what to say. Maybe he didn't want me to say anything. Maybe I should act like nothing ever happened that night, and maybe it didn't. Maybe I dreamed the whole thing up. I could handle this. It was nothing.

I smiled. But when he looked at me, there was something dead in his dark eyes. He was mad, mad that I left him there. I bet. I couldn't expect him to be happy to see me. Before I knew what was coming, he slammed me into the lockers. A cold metal pain in the back of my head hung on to every word he said.

"Happy to see me?" Randy growled. Now I felt like a little mouse trapped, no one helped. Faces stared at me like this was all way too intense. It wasn't there business, just ours.

"Sorry, I- I..." My eyes searched him wondering if he was the boy I grew up with. "I'm sorry about everything."

His breath was hot, and I felt a little sweaty when he dropped me too the ground, and pressed his palms against my shoulders.

"I could take care of you real easy..real easy." He smiled. "Watch it." His brow lifted. He aimed a finger like a gun and pressed it against my forehead, "Pow." He whispered. "Friends forever."

He knew I was weak. His smile was quick as he backed away. He watched me for sometime. Staring, I wondered just who in the hell was he.



Stupid, the only song on my mind was that one where the guy keeps singing, "How's it going to be when you don't know me." I should have done my homework, gone to my grandmother's, hid at home. Something. But no. There I was at lunch. No place to go. Not a dime in my pocket and a grumbling stomach. A free soda would have been nice. But would I have really enjoyed it? Would I ever enjoy anything, anymore? And I thought my life sucked before. I wasn't making friends. I was making enemies.

There was no pleasure even in black lipstick. I didn't care anymore. See what a difference a day makes?

It was there on the steps of Rockford High I saw the old red sports car roll in. I couldn't say I knew the make, but it was pretty much a low riding busted car, except for the crimson paint job. Joy riders on a noon rush and Randy was with them.

My eyes widen. What kind of guy was he? He was supposed to be with me, not with scum of the earth.

The trio was plastered. Were they here to prove their reputation?

Maybe I am strange, but I wasn't an idiot. I never thought of Randy as one of the daredevils of Rockford High, known for trainspotting and other stupid human tricks which usually meant motion of some kind. I'd seen them down at the K-Mart parking lot jumping on the hood while the car peeled circles.

"What are you doing with them?" Okay, I like stupid questions.

"What do you care?" His breath was heavy with alcohol and his head dropped toward mine. Damn, he enjoyed making me squirm with his threatening stare. "But then you've been waiting for me."

"No I haven't." I took the defensive. Uptight and slightly phobic to crowds, he was too close for my comfort zone.

"Just get in the car." That was Randy's smile, but he didn't act a thing like Randy.

I shook my head, no.

"Come on, what are you afraid of? You weren't afraid last night." He took my hand, played with my fingers. I froze looking into his dizzy eyes. He wasn't Randy anymore.

"What did you do with him?"

"What do you mean? What did I do? It was you." His index finger pressed into my chest. "So get over it? Are you coming or not?" His words were cold. I felt a twinge of fear, yet it had a power of it's own just like he did. I went.



The old car was blaring with sweet notes from the stereo, "Put your arms around me, Baby... put your arms around me, Baby....All I want to do is fly." And we were flying down the interstate. I was sitting in the front seat in his lap. I can't say I was sitting in Randy's lap because if he was Randy we wouldn't be on this road trip. We'd be on some back street maybe sharing a soda and stupid stories about somebody on TV. Not this. Not the wind in my face, not the music soaring as fast as the car. We wouldn't be this way. Never. I never made a wish in the bathroom mirror. If I had, it wouldn't be this.

His hand hung on to my shoulder making me stiff. It was difficult to stay comfortable in his lap.

He sat there with a cigarette between his lips. I was too jittery to be cool, but he passed the cigarette and I took a slow drag. Actually, I was having a bit of a nicotine fit. Not that I'm addicted or anything, but I needed something to sooth the edge, glued to him.

What if I wet my pants or something? What would this rowdy bunch think? Maybe they'd just leave me at a roadside park, but we took a turn down a dirt road toward the river.

I didn't ask where we were going. I wanted this to be over. But then would it ever be over.

When I looked into his eyes, I searched for Randy. If I knew how to get him back, I would. But I don't think dragging him back to some mirror in an old house and saying a few words was going get back my Randy.

The car halted at the river's edge. Everyone got out. At least I could get to my feet. Most everyone but him stumbled. His grip tightened.

"What are we doing here?" I watched the wide stream babble. The current was probably stronger than it looked. The Platt was deceiving, sometimes. There was always at least one drowning a year around here. Had it met it's quota yet? I sighed.

"She wants to know what we're doing here?" Randy laughed.

Everyone laughed but I didn't get the joke.

"Randy, wouldn't you rather just have a beer and forget about it." The boy asked who drove us there. He pulled a reefer from his pocket and lit it. "You need to chill, man."

"Then don't watch." Randy's cold words hung in my mind.

"You're not going to hurt her, are you?" A girl asked. I remembered her from Living Class. We never talked. She was always tired but usually liked anyone's cooking.

I looked at the driver, then the girl with the stringy hair and her companion who looked as dim as she did.

Was I an idiot or what? Did they care what he had in mind?

My sweaty hand slid from his grip, and I took off running fast as I could get from the river. To bad I never tried out for track. God, I stink. Too many cigarettes. I felt dizzy. Before I knew it, I hit the ground, and he was right on me.

My palms cut into the gravel, but I managed to pull myself up and kept going even if he pulled at my shirt tail. I dropped out of the shirt and ran toward the highway.

Things I now knew to give up, clunky shoes, stupid retroware and cigarettes. But then would I see tomorrow with his plans? He grabbed me. We tumbled, but I fought to get up before he could. Only I wasn't going anywhere, but with him, down the rocky embankment toward the river.

He hit the water first. My chance to get away. But like quicksand, he pulled me under with him. His hands clung to my wet neck and he squeezed, pushing me harder under the merky water. Bubbles spewed from my mouth.

I couldn't make out a word he said. But I fought back.

We were swallowed in the current. He clung on to me. I did the same. Inspite of everything, I knew this guy liked me. You can't just give up on somebody when their personality changes.

We washed up on the sandbar. Too exhausted to even talk. Damn, if he didn't get to ride in the ambulance with me.



I don't know if I'll ever know who Randy is. Some lady at the library's been trying to help me find some old newspapers about the Hathaway murder. I haven't found much. Newspapers just don't spell out stuff like they do these days on the news.

Anyway, he hasn't asked me to visit him at the treatment center. And I haven't been trying to call up Bloody Mary in bathroom mirror.

Wednesday, October 28, 2009

the boy who never


OK, this is Landon's true calling. Within him is a voice. Some might find it quite simple. But it is genuine and its really a rather intimate CD. One you can truly cherish in your own private moments. When you get up on a Sunday morning or you are alone on a Saturday night and can't sleep. He's there for you.
This cd, naturally, has his wonderful Falling in love at a coffe shop on it. But there is more. Much more. He so delicately hits those high notes in such a soft way. You truly feel you know that boy writing these songs. There are influenes of the Beatles in his songs a ghost and Blue Skies. But the longer I listen to the cd I've fallen in love with The boy who never and especially Speak to the Keys.
I'm not sure there is anyone I can compare him to. He's one of those artist you feel you can start your own personal relationship with through his breath of songwriting and music. I wouldn't dare say he's indie nor even pop. He's just Landon Pigg. And he wrote a little masterpiece to give to you to enjoy.
Perhaps he has his own beat, a lot like Steven Bishop did with his LP long ago in the late 70's. While Bishop was giving you almost a New York minute or two. Pigg gives you songs rich with the quaint feel of moving on.
Anyway, his songs are just as genuine as that smile of his. I could watch him on film or listen to his music any day.

Saturday, October 24, 2009

Chris Massoglia


I'm sure he is the Darren the author had in mind for Circ Du Freak. He's got that all American boy good looks. He's sweet. He's nice just a tad mischievous. All things he needs to be as the Vampire's assistant. Really, he makes Darren quite adorable. And he had to handle spiders too.

Circ Du Freak did deliver on the freakish nature of so many things in the world. It pops with such a fine cast.

Of course, this was a movie that dealt with the real world and a secret world. If you've read the books you'll know the first installment is possibly the weakest of the series. There are plans to make a total of 4 movies from the 12 books in the series. Hopefully, Chris will be there for the whole ordeal of it.

Hard to say if this flick will have the magnitude of followers like Harry Potter. Doubtful. But really the story did play out nicely. Perhaps it has to do that the story centers around 2 boys who were best friends and now they have to fight each other because they are now on different sides.

John C. Reilly was excellent as Larten Crepsley. He was to the point showing Darren the way to being not just a vamp, but his assistant too. The movie has some interesting takes and twist. Especially, about being a vampire. I think its for a wide ranged audience. You don't always find a movie like that.

Chris will be in a new thriller, The Hole. I have a feeling he'll be the one to watch very soon.

Saturday, October 17, 2009

Jordan Gavaris


Nathan is back on New Degrassi on TEENick. Remember from last season in "bad medicine"? When Riley hooked up with the soccer dude he'd gone to camp with from before. Mostly they had a bit of an online thing going. And Riley, the football jock, was rather iffy on his sex preferences. He had tried to kiss Peter and in spite of that, Peter has still remained his friend and is the only one who knows how he truly is.
As the case may or may not be, they do have a thing for the woods in last season. At least, we hear more from Nathan questioning the new girl Riley's seeing.
I so hope Degrassi writers will keep this story going. I really like Jordan for the part. There is a certain sincerity about him. Perhaps sadness...especially, when Riley shuns him. I think this is a much more intense storyline than Marco's. Also its great that he's not pretty pretty..yet he's got sweet lips and cool hair.
I just hope Riley's character won't lash out at Nathan. However, Riley seems rather high strung, and has acted pretty mean to Peter. Seriously, though, these are issues that should be confronted. Many teens, no matter what sort of sexual orientation, do deal with the nature of abuse. Even guys need to be made aware of the fact they can get help in abusive situations.
Jordan Gavaris is a native of Brampton, Onterio. You can catch him hopefully on DVD in 45 R.P.M., a rather indie film yet very intense and getting rave reviews of a coming of age story.

Friday, October 16, 2009

Max Records


Can you expect no less from a boy with a name like that?
Max was a genuine "Max" for WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE. He certainly carried the movie through the thick of it, shedding every emotion available.
He might remind you of a young Lou Taylor Pucci. Honestly, you won't want to forget his face. Hopefully, if he finds the right projects he'll be on his way to be a star.
There is a certain realism many of us can relate to with this movie. The dysfunction of everyday life...carried over to the dysfunction of everyday wild creatures. Still with in our being of the feral essences..... we have all some how felt in our youth, comes to the other end of the spectrum, civility. But somewhere between the two is the creativity we bring life too.
The movie is about how we fight change. Perhaps we want it, but there are the terms of dealing with it. It was most definitely a beautiful movie. The voice work was amazing from Paul Dano, James Gandolfini, Catherine O'Hare, and Forest Tucker. Oh, and don't forget Chris Cooper.
I found the movie so unique. Just like the book. Just like it should be. And I'm hoping great things for Max Records.

Friday, October 2, 2009

Zombieland

a magical moment doomed by the virus.


What's a guy to do when there is no World of Warcraft to play? Jesse Eisenberg's character "Columbus" is the typical college student. Maybe? We see the end of the world as we know it through his eyes. As it is he meets up with Woody Harrleson "Tallahasee". The characters go by the names of the towns of where they are from. We also get to learn the rules of engagement when it comes to zombies. I thought Eisneberg was perfect for this part. Harrleson rounded out the duo so devilishly.

You might be a bit squeamish at first as the movie hurls at you with zombies. But you'll get use to it. This is a funny horror film. Some feme fatal performances from Emma Stone and Abagail Breslin. Even Amber Heard makes a lovely zombie.

I think the zombie lover will get their fill with this movie. Don't worry, its not an Americanized version of Shaun of the Dead. But its got its fun and of course, gore.

Time to reflect after a gun salute moment for the accidents that do happen.

shirtless


And to think he had to start training as soon as Twlight was over. Really, Lautner has possibly gone above the call of duty for this movie series. I think it'll be worth it.
Thankfully, he can stay tanned unlike the other bunch of actor vamps in the movie. So young and already making the top 100 beautiful people of 2009. And to think it might have all started in Rodriguez' Sharkboy and Lava Girl. And now he practices at the gym everyday, eating lean meat and veggies, or the Michael Phelps diet at times.
Clearly, he is focused on the best he can be for Twilight.
Really, it is kind of nice that he is a little shy. I think it makes him more interesting.
He just might be the best thing about the Twilight movie serious. I have a feeling we will see him grow more than we know as an actor.
Honestly, I'm not sure about Pattinson. Hopefully, the series won't leave him typed cast. I'm sure it doesn't matter with as much money as he'll have after all is said and done.
I'm actually glad Tom Felton didn't fall in to this series, after all. Of course, he's one actor who needs to be making movies more than ever. Still the question is, will this series make or break some of the upcoming starlets. Honestly, there should be a documentary about the making of the movies. I would find it far more interesting than the movies.

Monday, September 28, 2009

Whip it - the movie

Ellen & Landon show off singing talents. One of my favorite moments. I would have loved more of these moments.


I had the opportunity to see Whip it over the weekend. The long awaited debut of Drew Barrymore's first directed movie. Naturally, it has spunk. It has heart and really a hopeful movie.


Drew is even in it herself as Smashly Simpson.


Other stars that shined in this film.. most definitely were Ali Swakat from Arrested Developement (Do you remember Maybe?) She plays best friend Pash who gets A's so her parents will leave her alone. Then there is Julette Lewis as Iron Maven who is hell on wheels. She was perfect for the part. And you can't forget marvelous Zoe Bell as Bloody Mary.


This is a movie more that roller derby. Although there is a lot in it. I sometimes felt it dragged the movie a bit, but if you have the need to get your roller derby action..you can get it in this movie.


Basically its about a girl finding her own independence even if its a bit unconventional between lying to her pagent seeking Mom (Marcia Gay Harden) and to the team and even Oliver(Landon Pigg..what an adorable smile). The movie isn't perfect. Neither is life. Neither is love with a beautiful guy or for the love of the game.


This is a movie about how we don't always see eye to eye with our parents. How we have the need to find our passion in life. And how some things may seem totally crazy, but maybe they aren't that crazy at all.


On the downside. Yes, the movie was a little long. But for the most part it was a warm movie about friendships, respect for ourselves and the ones who brought us into this world. Drew did good.

Sunday, September 27, 2009

Colin Gray fan fiction



OK, so you might never want to watch another Diablo Cody film again due to the campy dialogue and Megan Fox, Jennifer's Body. But you can at least be happy that she graced us with Colin Gray played by Kyle Gallner. To bad he had to be the third victim. But what if he wasn't. What if he was there for Needy, after all. Just by chance, Jennifer didn't ask him to meet her that night because Needy told her to forget about him. Someone else was her victim, but he went anyway to witness the whole thing and somehow came out unscathed. Almost. Maybe he and Needy share a common bond now.
-ellie

Check it out!

Sunday, September 20, 2009

isn't she lovely


Emily Browning has gone legally blond. She was seen sporting the new blond look for her new film Sucker Punch that she's filming with Vanessa Hudgens.
Emily replaced, hot commodity these days, Amanda Seyfried as Babydoll. Its the story of a girl who has been hurt by her evil Step-father and is in an institution. It takes place in the 1950's.
What a transformation for Emily. It gives her such a new angelic warmth. Although, it might take some getting used too. She's great with that vibrant chestnut hair of hers.
I do envy her everyday look. Such character. Love the gray thigh highs. So comfy yet with a sense of cool natural vibe and quirkiness. She seems to be the type who loves to keep her originality about her with a fresh and whimsical touch. This is what new age goddesses should be seen in around town. Charming, practical and maybe even magical.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009

GRAND matt & kim


Oh, it has its own energy. You'll either hate it or love this CD.


On one hand you will think, well, it is just one long song to endure. On the other, each little ditty has its place.


It starts out so playful with daylight. And if you get into the beat you'll catch yourself wanting it to be the song you wake up to in the morning. The song to get you going for the day. It'll be part of the soundtrack of your life.


Also Good ol' fashion nightmare, might be familiar to you because its been in most of the Community promos on NBC. Its a quirky little number that's catchy yet soulful, like much of the CD.


Like so many bands these days, it a minimalist duo who have their act together. They are Brooklyn based, but I swear the first time I heard him I thought, this dude has to be Brit. Oh well, perhaps wishful thinking. The first song I've heard of theirs was Yea, Yeah and I was hooked from then on. They are genuine and so indie and really an adorable pair that can deliver a beat when it comes to their music.


This has to be my favorite CD of summer. Of course, I didn't get around to getting it until a week or so ago. Although, its one I've thoroughly enjoyed getting to know. I can only wish them the best on their tour and many more melodies to find and create for us.

Wednesday, September 9, 2009

whip it with Landon Pigg


Ok, when I found out that Landon Pigg was in Drew Berrymore & Ellen Page's WHIP IT, an indie rocker who goes roller derby, I just did the happy dance in my room for a few minutes between commericals of GLEE tonight. Yeah!
He's like the Ashton Kutcher of pop, you know. I don't know. He's so pretty. And he can sing. And I hope this'll open new doors for him.
Thank you Drew!
Honestly, I feel if he's in her movie it'll do so much more for him than lets say some of those other dudes who think they are pop-stars, but not really. Like Ben Yelen who might be popular in some other country just not in the states. Of course, I don't know what it really takes to make you a pop-star in the states. Being stalked by Perez Hilton night and day, or getting pissed with the press and beating up a camera man or getting a restraining order from your girlfriend. There seems to be such little talent involved, lately. And yeah, I'm suppose to be amazed by how low they can keep their jeans and shake their bootie and grind someone on stage, that I suppose thats why I'd rather be at an indie concert, any day.
But for Landon. He's go talent. Nashville bred, well, some tunes had to be breathed into him somewhere. Don't you think? Aside from that he's got an expressive face, and it looks like modeling could pay off if the music doesn't stay in his blood(but you know it will). And besides he really looks good with Ellen.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

Elliot & Billy - Taking Woodstock fan fiction


*After taking in a great consideration of the movie, Taking Woodstock. Knowing it wasn't fiction, but wishing it was. It left me with the rift to wanting to write about Elliot and Billy. Billy, is back from the war, so he's got his problems. But maybe they aren't so bad. Its just, he's not who he used to be, and Elliot would love to be who he really is.
Elliot knew it was there. He did. He could feel it long before Billy made contact. He supposed. Well, something. He was after all Mr. Cool Dude even if he was suffering with these moments of his.
"I just thought, maybe I could be in one of your flashback moment, you know." Elliot had left it at that and Billy of course gave him a hard look as if he wasn't suppose to be soft. But he really was. Elliot sensed it.
Oh, sure, make it almost to the stage, and Billy has to tell Elliot a story about tipping cows and his long lost love.
"What was her name?"
"I can't remember, exactly." Again there was that fog of Billy's. Something that couldn't be trusted. It wasn't suppose to be trusted. Or so Billy gave him that look as they stood there taking in the scene. All those people. Humid from the rain. The stench of human sweat. Everywhere.
Finally, Billy lit up to share a smoke with Elliot.
"Actually, I don't-" Elliot pushed his hand out as if he wouldn't dare partake in such, yet, wasn't it just yesterday he'd gone on a rather long voyage of an acid trip.
"Aw, come on, what stays in Woodstock. Stays, you know." Billy grinned. Elliot kind of smiled and took the smoke as if he really did need to take the edge off. He needed not to think what was waiting for him at home. His parents and well, if all else failed there was that carpenter guy, right? He nodded about that. Man, the dude was giving him all the signals and shit. It would be the right thing. Right? He was on the fence about it. He really was into being a solo act for the most part. A bystander. Sort of like with Billy, watching him reenact his little scenes from the war. Really? Did he want to get involved with this dude? Seriously?
He looked over at Billy's bare sunburning skin, and wished he could. A moment maybe. Probably stupid. But just the same. He could think it would be, beautiful. But then again, there Billy went again how he could have a normal life if he hadn't gone over there and shit. But now it was different.
"I can't be who I used to be, you know." He sounded so sad. This shit they were smoking was making Elliot sad too.
Just then a flock of girls in cutoffs and mud for shirts passed by. He could see Billy taking off after them to relive high school perhaps, but he didn't. He breathed in the cigarette instead, giving Elliot a squinted look. He almost laughed then, but bit his bottom lip. Elliot couldn't help but stare.
In the midst of the mood and the crowd with the pouring laughter, Elliot felt Billy pull him in. He kissed him madly as if it was time to live. Live right now in Woodstock. His tongue touched his as if this was important for him to know.
"I love you, man," Billy said like some sort of joke. With each breath, Elliot sense he knew Billy more than he ever thought he would. The kisses kept coming. Elliot felt so much of Billy's body next to his. He didn't want it to stop.
The next thing he knew they were sliding down the mud into the mess down below. Laughing until it hurt. Elliot didn't want it end. They'd slid down together in each others arms. Then made their way up to the top of the hill, carrying each other along the way. Just to do it all over again.
He'd never been this close to anyone. It was so amazing. Elliot didn't care if he ever went home.
Before he knew it, Billy was carrying him on his back through the crowd. They looked like pigs of some kind. Happy to be with each other at Woodstock.
"This is just stupid shit," Billy had a good laugh. Was it over already. Elliot pleaded to God, inside his head, not for it to be over. Just yet.
"We need a shower." To bad the lake wasn't nearby so they could jump in. Damn, if this was a bad time.
"If found one, would you let me fuck you?" Billy wanted to know. Elliot's eyes lit. He got off Billy's back and looked him in the face then. Elliot let a smile slip.
"Are you fuck'n high?" Elliot knew he shouldn't believe him.
"Possibly," Billy looked slightly dizzy but that was the usual. "Maybe not." His muddy hands touched his face.
"You shouldn't talk shit like that," Elliot said. "You know you couldn't possibly mean it."
"But I do." He sounded so certain. "I want to be alone with you."
Elliot let his grin slip again. "Really?"
Billy nodded. He looked at the sea of people around him. How in the fuck were they ever going to get out of here?

Saturday, August 29, 2009

Taking Woodstock


Leave it to Ang Lee to celebrate the 40th anniversary of Woodstock with Taking Woodstock which is the bio pic movie of Elliott Teichberg in 1969 who decided to get Woodstock in his own back yard in order to help save his Mom & Dad's motel business.. so to speak since the other place in upstate New York was a deal breaker.

Demetri Martin is a bit between Michael Cera and Robert Schwartzman which makes him adorable all the way through the film. To bad it couldn't have been fiction, though. I would have loved for his character to have hooked up with Nam wounded Emile Hirche's character. It would have been electric. Oh, Elliot hooks up with someone, even falls into a threesome with Paul Dano and Kelli Garner on an acid trip.

This was a thrill to watch. I enjoyed seeing how the concert came about. Jonathan Groff is Michael Lang with that amazing hair riding in ..not only on a motor cycle but a stallian or two as well, and Lang put the cash up front. Thus got the ball rolling for Woodstock. Yet again, if it had been fiction it would have been great fun to see Groff & Martin's characters hook up. I know..I'm just silly, but it still would have been fun.

Really, its a quirky film. A sweet little trip back to where it all started. With wonderful performances by Hirche, Groff, Martin and don't forget Liev Schreiber as crossdressing Vilma. Its such a cool movie.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

rainbow boys

Alex Sanchez is ground breaking in young adult fiction with his trilogy of the rainbow boys. Kyle, Nelson and Jason.

My favorite in the series was Nelson who was always changing up his hair and fearless too. His mother supported him so much. While Kyle is from a nuclear background with a Mom and Dad who were trying to understand his coming out in high school. And of course, Kyle was the luckiest guy in the world to find jock Jason who came from a background where homosexuality was not tolerated and had a girlfriend. It was great that he could find these types to write about and bring to life in the series. Too bad it couldn't be a TV series.

Naturally, I could read about these 3 characters again and again.

Really, Mr. Sanchez has put himself out there to make way in young adult fiction with real characters of teens who are coming out and of course showing strength and responsibility in their choices in life. He definitely is moving, in his writing and you can easily fall in love with his characters.

I highly recommend the trilogy.

an excerpt from Rainbow Boys

Saturday, August 22, 2009

undeclared


Heath couldn't stop himself from wanting to smile. Oh, he would have laughed if he could, but then people might thought him devious, and really that wasn't what this was about. Not when he laid eyes on the beautiful boy on the red sofa at the after party. It was only getting started. All those somber individuals talking trash about theater and where they were going. Nowhere, at least Heath was certain of. And if it wasn't enough, everyone had something to say. All those actors. Moody. Emotional. One man shows. It was down right delightful not to meet an actor.

Why hadn't he seen him before? He didn't dare ask. More snickers from his league that patroled for new blood. And they would have asked, "Well, what of you and Andrew? Isn't that set in stone?"

Heath had to keep his wits about him at the party. He'd smoked far too many cigarettes as it was, and Andrew would have told him his nerves were shot. Maybe they were, but he was away and Heath wasn't under his thumb at the moment. And, and there he was. Like a scared little lamb.

Heath was sure of it. Brand new. The freshest of the Freshman. Not doubt. Heath couldn't help but stare. A part of him felt as a vampire with a victim within his reach. He could imagine his lips on his. It was waiting to happen. But then he scared the poor fool to death.

"You are 18, aren't you?" Heath saw him nod. "And your major?" Didn't it always happen this way at a party? Someone asked you about your major. Lameo crap.

"Undeclared." Awesome thought Heath. He must have meant to have said that. And the blondie had set there staring at Heath's card with his name and number. He didn't shred it into bits and throw it back in his face. It was settled. Maybe he'd get a call back. Just maybe.

Heath wondered around in the dark of the party after that. Catching glimpses of him from time to time, but not another encounter. He didn't want to look as if he were...possibly desperate.

______________________

It was very late when he got to the all night diner which was more of a hen's fest than anything. He met up with Wyona who was acting rather aloof. She was dating no one at the moment.
All her online lovers were on vacation, perhaps.


"You mean you didn't get lucky?" She finally smiled at him with her rich red lipstick still in place. She looked like a golden age Hollywood starlet. All she needed was a cigarette, and Heath could give her one if she wanted.

"Do I ever?"

"You have Andrew." She looked at him disappointed.

"Andrew. Andrew. Andrew." Heath fumed. "Everyone acts like he's a god of some kind."

"He's head of the drama department, how lucky can you be?" She brushed her silky black chin length hair behind her ear.

"Its not perfect." Heath was a bit pouty.

"But you're such a good wife." She grinned.

"Stop it." Heath winced. He didn't like that word.

He was going home to an empty house which he was so happy about. He wanted to be gone before Andrew got back. If he had the will, he would. He should, but he knew he wouldn't. It was as if it wouldn't be a home without the fighting.

____________________________

Heath woke up to the smell smoke. His t-shirt was almost on fire.

"Shit! Shit! Shit!" He jumped up from the bed and flung the t-shirt over his head and on the floor. It was on fire. "Fuck! Fuck!" He screamed then, stomping it out. He was still in his thick black boots.

He saw himself in the bathroom mirror then across the way. Even if he were still in Andrew's bedroom. His black hair was standing straight up. It looked so pathetic and beyond Elvis. Evidently. He remembered the beautiful boy's blond hair. It was real, and he was the kind of real that had no idea he was even beautiful at all. If only he'd call.

He wasn't. Heath knew. He got in the shower and decided to dye his hair. He knew a thing or two about going from black to blond. Of course, four hours later he was wondering what went wrong. He called Wyona finally.

________________________________

"You should have called me when you first wanted to do this." She looked at him disappointed.

"You're right, but you would have talked me out of it." Heath reminded her.

"So true." She nodded, combing his green mess with her fingers. "I shall fix it."

"Don't take too long, I'm expecting a call." He lit a cigarette then. It was breakfast.

"Heath, you are just asking for trouble," she told him.

"I live for trouble." He smirked.

"Sure you do." Wyona smirked back.

"Just fix it. I have this weekend coming up, and I want to be ready for something spectacular." Heath closed his eyes then, imagining him as someone else with that beautiful boy. Somewhere far from here. Far from Andrew.

Of course, it took the rest of the day to get his hair platnum.

_________________________________________

By Thursday Heath was back to his old self. Blond though. The house was in tip top shape. He could have shown it and had buyers for it. God, he hated housework. He worked out too. Trying to focus on the positive instead of the negative. He had to remember he was in his last year at the University. He had the future to look forward too. It was all coming to an end. This thing with Andrew. There was a time he felt as if Andrew and everything he ever wanted was here and now it was fading. It was time someone else took over as Andrew's boy, and it would not be that beautiful boy that Heath was dreaming about.

Of course, at the party, this Nick(the beautiful boy) was doing his best to be so not part of the program. But Heath wasn't giving up hope. There was something about him that just made Heath think he might call. He might. Heath was praying that he would.

And then just before dawn on Saturday morning. It happened. Nick called.

"What changed your mind?" Heath wished he hadn't wanted to know. "Sorry. Its just a surprise. You know, to hear from you."

"Yeah, I guess I thought maybe-"

"Maybe I'll see you at Starbucks as soon as it opens." Heath smiled.

"Starbucks?"

"What? Is that too gay for you?" Heath winced.

"Starbucks is fine."

_______________________________________

Well, it wasn't perfect. Nick wasn't quite like he remembered. His nose was wickedly bruised. Of course, it pained Heath to see him that way because after all, he knew exactly the exruciating pain he was in. He'd been there a time or two himself. Well, a lot. He just didn't like seeing himself in Nick.

Still there was more to take in even if Nick was sitting there like a bump on a log. Obviously, he was on something. Under the influence of something. So they sat there looking at each other as if nothing would happen. What a waste of time.

But then Heath found himself spilling over how he wanted him to call. How he couldn't wait to see him again. Only Nick looked like shit. What was he suppose to do with that? And Nick's story was so lame. In the bathroom with his roommate's girlfriend. At the party. Really? What was that about? Really, could he trust him?

Yet Nick was ready for something. Something. It was as if he wanted to know what it was all about on a Saturday morning. Usually, things like this were after dark. Possibly the wee hours of morning when one was so drunk they could hardly stand up and everything was so undone. But here Nick was wired on caffiene, looking so not himself, going back to Heath's place.

"What do you want to do?" Nick acted as if he were hungry. Possibly. Yet they were bumping into each other. Really, Heath hadn't planned on so much daylight. They would just find each other in the dark. It would be something mysterious and amazing. But there Nick was looking at what was on the walls of the livingroom. A game of 20 questions.

Lie.Lie.Lie. That's all Heath could do.

"Of course, its my place." Heath told him. After all, he had to be somebody. Not just anybody. He poured him something with vodka, but Nick didn't want it. It was as if he wanted to be apparentely awake for everything.

"Well, then." Heath stared at his honey brown eyes, for some time. Trying to get past the bruised nose. He touched Nick's chin who immediately resisted.

"What are you doing here?" Heath looked at him frustrated.

"I dunno." Nick shook his head. Nick looked so sad. He suddenly lunged in to a kiss as if to get it over and done. Heath fell back. He thought his upper lip might be bleeding.

"Not so fast." Heath stared at his eyes. So sincere yet uncertain. Heath kissed him slowly then. His tongue touched his so delicately. They stayed that way for a moment. It was something to savor. Heath thought he might get teary eyed.

Heath pulled back finally and knew then that he was Nick's first guy kiss. He couldn't help but smile.

______________________________________

Heath put on the Best of David Bowie then. They could improvise. Put on a show. Sing to their hearts content as if they could be rock stars. Then it was time to jump on the bed. Such fun. In the air. Stupid shit that just made you laugh out loud. Things that Andrew never let him do. Honestly, Heath just wanted to forget the seriousness of it.

Finally, Heath's head rested next Nick's on fluffy pillows on the bed. Just some time to catch their breath. And in the stillness he heard his heart beat, and he'd never been quite so happy as he saw Nick smile. He laid there almost in a sweat. The lights on. But it was clouding up. Possibly a thunderstorm on the way. Something turbulant flowed through his veins, as well. As if this was the chance to take. Heath turned off the lights.

"Why did you do that?" Nick said a bit breathy.

"I like it dark." Simple as that. Wasn't it?

"But I wanted to see you." Nick told him.

"Its not that dark." Heath removed his shirt then as if Nick had asked him too and the rest of his clothes. Nick just watched.

Heath slid under the cold covers quickly as if Nick would have to find him. He waited. Finally, Nick got up the nerve to do it. Heath wanted to ask him what he was thinking about, but suddenly Nick shucked everything as if he were going skinny dipping and dived under the covers.

Heath wasn't sure he wanted to be the one who had to show him. Everything. And then Nick touched his abs as if he needed to know he was there, and Nick kissed him as Heath had shown him. Heath was certain he'd burst with happiness. Nick's hot flesh on his. It was so inviting. Nick's touch. A yearning to know it would be the best.
He couldn't. There was an ache inside him that told him he wanted this more than anything. To be with Nick. But just not for now, but for good. Some way. Some how. Heath gritted knowing he knew he had to do the right thing.

"You know what to do, don't you?" Nick simply asked.

Heath bit his bottom lip.

"Sure, I know." He just wanted Nick all over him. Couldn't it wait. It could wait. "But we don't have too."

"Isn't it what you asked me over for?" Nick let go for a moment.

"Yes," he barely said above his breath. Heath kissed him back hard as if maybe it would tell Nick to go away. Did he want him to be a monster? He knew what a monster was suppose to do. He lived with one. "You won't like it." Heath slightly scowled.

"But I like this." Nick told him.

"Me too." He'd never been with someone who just wanted to touch him so. He kept kissing Nick as if to forget what he'd ask of him. He hated to tell him it was worse than everclear for the first time. It might make him sick. It might ruin him for life. And as much as it hurt, he didn't want Nick to become him.
more at e.l. love

Friday, August 21, 2009

WHAT WOULD JESUS DO IN A BUCKET HAT



By Liz Cross

A friend of mine sent me this story a long time ago, but I kept it. I don’t think she’d mind if I shared it with you.

What was he trying to do? We’d laughed all the way to Family Dollar Store and now he was trying on hats— bucket hats.
“That’s what they call these?” His was tan. Mine was blue. The tag hung in my face. I couldn’t see my eyes, but Zed looked quite naughty with the ends turned up like a rap star.
“Let’s pose,” he said looking into the hat mirror. The hat covered his short sun-licked hair, but his freckles shown on his lean nose.
I crossed my arms and he leaned his back against me. We giggled.
“You’re just so not a Jonas brother.” I laughed a hearty laugh. I felt alive, not numb anymore.
His smile was genuine and it made me laugh, again. His smile always did.
“God, these are so cheap!” I noticed the price, hardly three bucks.
“Why do you think we came here, Lisa?” He made me think I was a doofus. “We don’t have our parents to spend money on us.”
I frowned. Why did he have to bring that up?
As it was, I doubted there was even an APB out on us. We’d been here for weeks. We could spend the whole summer stranded in the heartland.
No one lived in my Great Aunt Nola’s farm house. So it was like a vacation, the two of us. It wasn’t really running away. We really weren’t running away from anything. But I didn’t know what to say. I put the hat back and went to look at shirts.
Naturally, I went straight to the WHAT WOULD JESUS DO stuff.
“Not another one, please,” he begged. “How much of this stuff do you own?”
“I don’t have that much.” I didn’t think about my collection, but the rainbow bracelets made me happy. I felt better when I had one even if I didn’t wear them anymore. It gave Mom the creeps when she saw me with one. Like she did something wrong, or maybe there was just something silly about me. We weren’t religious at home.
“What about that WWJD T-shirt you sleep in, huh?” He gave me the look. The look as in when are you going to give it up? You can’t be a virgin forever. “It’s a real turn-off.”
“It is?” I stared at him wondering if he really meant it. I picked up a tie-dye shirt with the logo on it and held it for a moment thinking everything might be beautiful with the world in baby blue and neon yellow.
“I’m sorry.” He sighed. “You don’t really need that, you know.”
I shook my head. I knew. He was working hard for the corn detassling money, up before dawn, and dead tired in a dusty tan when he came home. The company hadn’t even paid him. We barely had enough to go out on from my pay at the truckstop. I put it back.
“But we can get the hats. The hats will come in handy.”
“Oh yeah, you think so?” I edged a smile.
“Yeah, bucket hats are so cool.” He took them to the counter and paid for them.
I waited outside staring at the pay phone.
“Why don’t you call?” He found me tempting to grab the phone. “You know you want too.”
“Not yet.” The feeling had to be right. It just wasn’t yet. What was I going to say? My head was empty. Besides, I’d come all this way to meet someone I’d never known, and I couldn’t do that either.
We walked across the parking lot and waited at the busy intersection. Strangely, there was no fear crossing the highway with Zed. I felt safe even if trucks zoomed by. I never felt like that at home.
“Your father’s Jewish, isn’t he?” We walked a ways down the dirt road into the shade of the cottonwoods before he said anything.
“What?”
“That’s why you have this fascination with Jesus, isn’t it?” He grinned. His teeth were so perfect. Sometimes that perfection bothered me, like he had everything figured out. He was the one going to college not me. Not me. No, I was the girl who dropped out my last semester. He still hadn’t asked me why I did that.
“What does Jesus being Jewish have to do with anything?”
“I don’t know, you tell me?” He leaned in closer and I stepped back not wanting him near.
“It’s nothing.”
“I just want to understand it, that’s all. What’s with you? You don’t even go to church.”
“So you don’t have to go to church, you know.”
“Well, maybe, if you’re in some third- world country, but they even have places to go to worship. They might be a bit run down, no running water or anything, but at least they have a place to go.”
“So what are you saying, I need to go somewhere to be close to God?”
“I don’t want to talk about this. It makes you cranky.” He shrugged.
“Well, you brought it up.”
“You’re the one who’s the Jesus freak, not me.”
“I don’t know why this upsets you.”
“It doesn’t, not really. It’s just are you or aren’t you?” He walked ahead. I watched his footsteps in the soft dirt.
“What is that supposed to mean?” I ran to catch up.
“What does it mean when you wear your WWJD T-shirt to sleep in?”
“It doesn’t mean anything. I just like it, that’s all.”
“No, no there’s got to be something. There’s just got to be. You just want to make me feel guilty, don’t you?” His face soured, but he messed with the bucket hat, and was silly once more, dancing in a jerky hop.
“Zed, it’s just a shirt, okay.” I crossed my arms and watched. He was so harmless, really. But this stunk. And he thought I was moody.
“Forget it, okay. I just asked. You know, maybe it means nothing to you. Just forget it.” He did a strut, wiggled his shoulders. God, I hoped he wasn’t planing a drama major in college. He might do okay as a comedian. He might. It just sank into me that I was going to have to let him go. I had too. He had places to go. Places to go without me.

***

We were finishing the last of the mushroom soup. The house was practically scraped. It might have been nice if we could have made the place comfortable. As it was, it barely gave us shelter from the rain and the heat. We wouldn’t be here much longer. It would be the end of July soon and corn detassling would be over.
“I was thinking about what you said,” I attempted to give him my lame theory. It would sound totally bogus, but it was something I wanted to believe even if he couldn’t understand. “I used to think my dad looked like that guy in Serpico.”
“You mean Al Pacino?”
“Yeah, my mom used to have this poster of him. I loved that poster. For some reason I just thought if Jesus was around he’d be a real cool Serpico.”
“Did you ever watch the movie?” He sighed.
“No.”
“You should have, it’d blown your whole theory. Serpico is definitely not Jesus.”
“Oh,” I swallowed my soup and watched the drop that slipped back into the soup.
“You wish Jesus was your dad?”
“God, that sounds so sacrilegious. I don’t know what I want.”
“You could go back to school.”
“What does that have to do with Jesus?”
“It’s not your fault your step-dad can’t keep a job. But you don’t want to know your real father, either, do you?”
“Maybe he doesn’t want to know me.” I felt cold suddenly and felt bad about dragging Zed on this cross- country trip. Here I was thinking something was going to change. When really nothing had changed. Zed was going to the University of Texas in the fall.
“Well, you won’t know if you don’t call, if you don’t show up.” He took the bowls away and rinsed them out to let them dry.
I just felt numb. It didn’t have to be this way. But it did. Some things, I couldn’t change. But how was I going to act when I got home? Would they ever trust me again?
He brushed my hair. Each stroke was with care. Not too hard but strong enough to straighten the frizzy ends of my heavy hair.
“You really think you could live like this everyday?” I stared into the shadows and imagined a life once here. Now there was just gray fraying wood and chipped floors.
“Sure I could.”
I knew he couldn’t.
“I can’t believe you actually went in those corn fields just to detassle,” I said. “I couldn’t even last a day. You’re going to have so much to look forward too, you know, when you go to college.”
“Come with me.”
I shook my head, no.
He began to braid my hair.
“I can’t, not just yet.” I shivered wondering what was I really afraid of.

I must have thought I was brave, but I wasn’t. Just chicken shit, really. I bet I would have turned around at the bus station if Zed hadn’t met me. His crazy ideas for the summer. We should have gone to the beach, but I had it in my head I was going to be a detective or something. I found his phone number and his address on the Internet. This was the summer I was going to meet my father. But I knew I couldn’t do it in the end. It would be wrong. He was supposed to be looking for me. Not the other way around. Not like this.
But even now I could barely sense where I came from or even what I wanted. I was only going on for Zed. If. If I were here. Alone. Maybe I’d just try to plant some roots right here in this old house, or maybe I’d die here on a blade of glass and fade into midnight. Even the stars were too bright in the dark.
The bedroll resettled. Zed’s breath changed. He was awake, barefooted and frail in his cotton briefs.
“I thought-” He yawned. “I thought you might be gone.”
He hugged me from behind as I stared up to the stars in the broken roof.
“Not yet, but maybe I will, you know, soon.”
He breathed in my ear.
“What would Jesus do, huh?” He kissed me.
“What would Jesus do in a bucket hat?” I sighed, wanting to sleep with his arms around me.
“Jesus is not a taker, you know. He frowns pretty much on prejudice. You get the picture.” I shook my head. “So that leaves just one thing.”
“One thing?” I nodded. He kissed my chin then. He was definitely making it hard to think.
“Have you given anybody, anything lately?” His warm mouth nuzzled near my ear again.
I turned to him.
“You’re too much, you know that.” I gave him a playful shove. Was there only one thing on his mind? I don’t think it had anything to do with Jesus.
“No, no, that’s not what I’m talking about.” His fingers intertwined with mine. His skin was blue and he looked splendid in the moonlight. “I’m saying, the more you give the better you’re going to feel. It’s got nothing to do with me.”
He held me close again. I couldn’t say a word. It was like that when he was right.

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

anita and sebastian


Which one will it be? Randy or Anita at the Oaks.
Here is where you can find their story about Sebastian and Anita.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

vast fields of the ordinary-book review

This is Nick Burd's first novel. I can only hope to read more of his work in the future.

This is a novel set in mid-west Iowa where you don't think gay people would exist. Well, of course, they exist everywhere. You have some what of a sexy boy, Dade who reminded me a lot of the Lou Taylor Pucci type. Unfortunately, he isn't in the best of time, letting the school jock do him who has a nasty but haute girlfriend. Of course, we get the jest of the one side romance. Dade is the victim here. Its his last year at home before college, and Dade really wants to find someone to love him for who he really is. And he does. Meet drug dealing Alex Kincaid. This is the character I wanted to read more about. Of course, I love Dade. Love how they meet and come to be.

Honestly, I loved the book so much, I didn't want it to end. There were a few parts I felt were a wee bit like a text book at the end. Perhaps, I would have loved to have seen more of how rotten and confused Pablo came to be, this emotional wreck who needed Dade but swore he didn't. But this was in first person. So you get Dade's story.

It was a lovely gay fiction story. Lots of realism even if I didn't like the ending.

Friday, July 3, 2009

Let him have it

I'm not sure any of you have ever had a chance to see this little gem from 1991, Let him have it.

Its bloody worth it.

You have a simple gang in the city of UK. And as luck would have it, boys would be boys which means trouble. And there is Derrick who you aren't quite sure if maybe he might have a social problem. Anyway, he is such a follower and always getting by the skin of his teeth. As the story progresses you have to wonder if its based on a true story from another era.

A brother lands in jail for all his anti-authority. As far as the judicial system knows, this bugger has it in for the coppers. So he's off to the slammer for a very long time which makes his younger brother, Chris Craig played by Paul Reynolds (who was about 14 or 16 at the time) blood boil.

This really is Paul Reynolds' film. He is a tad devious, emotional, a wreck and his character's got a gun & he's making his last stand against the coppers who have his brother.

Let one line change the course of everything. "Let him have it". Reynold's character does the inevitable when a cop bust out on the roof. He let him have. One shot in the head, and he's dead.

Chris Craig is out to shoot everyone. I do wonder if perhaps the creators of Hollyoaks got their idea for Craig Dean from this character. Granted Craig had his mischief, but there was always the "me" factor about him. And that's what Chris Craig is all about. Fortunately, due to his age, he went to the slammer...while Derrick who was 19..who was just there and didn't do a thing, gets the execution.

This is a film, half the ingenuity of what gangs do back in the 50's while the rest is how the court takes care of these misfits. It always seems the bad guys still get away while the good gets punished.

Sunday, June 7, 2009

oh, how could they

It seems I might be in a bit of a fit with some Hollyoaks' fans after I found I was linked about a "spoiler" on the show. When in fact I was just introducing a new character on The other side of Hollyoaks. Sorry, he's not coming to the show HOLLYOAKS on Channel 4. Oh, how I wish.

His name is Alfie who befriends Ian after his one off that didn't end so well with Maxie.

When I saw Nolan Gerad Funk's picture, immediately, I thought, he's so Newt from Hollyoaks. To bad Nico who plays Newt can't sport his real hair. It is rather sweet. Other trivia-on Spectacular Nolan's name was Nikko.

Its hard to say how the show really panned out with the critics. But with that cool Rocker look, surely it will help Canadian Funk's career. He's in his early twenties so lets hope he's the new IT GUY soon.

Anyway, do you see the resemblance?

It did inspire me to want to write about Newt and Alfie.

Saturday, May 23, 2009

skins slash fan fic

OK.

I couldn't help myself. After noticing someone looking for Skin's Maxxie fan fic, I decided. Why not. A friend I were discussing the third season which she can hardly stand so I thought more about Maxxie and Tony and what if. They were both so amazing in the show. Although, I never really got into Georgie so much. But still, I kept thinking..hmmmm..had Maxxie said that to Tony just because of Michelle when they were back in that room in Russia. Maybe. Or was it the fact that Tony thrived in doing anything that might keep him from a commitment to Michelle. And how Maxxie really feel about her, too? So many question. So much to ponder. It makes me smile to think about.

I hated to see that part of show end that way. Yet, so many talented actors that I can only hope will make it in films. They definitely are up and coming. And probably againsts my better judgemnt I started Maxxie and Tony. Two of my favorites from Skins.

Saturday, May 16, 2009

DARK HORSE

Nickelback is possibly wiser than you think. With the new Dark Horse, Nickelback is every graduates anthem. Especially with the hit If today was your last day now playing on just about every radio station that does Top 40. These guys are the salt of the earth yet well seasoned for any BBQ in the future where you might need the soundtrack of your life. Still they know when to deliver, so the hits will pay off.

But just in case you were hungry for the usual. There is Something in your mouth, Burn it to the ground and of course S.E.X. Possibly tunes toned down to previous lyrics that you were afraid to admit you knew the words too. This group makes you smile, makes you think. Makes you remember the time you were with who and doing what? With this sort of CD, they are in for the long haul. They will make you look back and say, they are classic rock. Of course, you might not think it at the moment. And it would be hard to compare them to Credence Clearwater Revival or the Eagles, but this might be the group you'll still be listening to years from now. This might be your one CD for summer. Just maybe.

Of course, I'm not so sure I know just how dark this horse is that they speak of. They do seem to be sticking to their tried and true to their fans. It just goes to show that there is a slightly darker side to the listener and what sort of sexy lives they have. Perhaps. Or wish for.

I think most will be content with the CD who have bought their stuff in the past. Yet, there are those who probably wished it had been darker. A tad more earthy. OK, maybe a lot more earthy, who dig those dirty secrets told. But its a rather radio friendly CD and who knows this might be the one that gets the gold.

Monday, May 11, 2009

The Old Sweater by Cait Wilder




I found the old blue sweater in the kitchen trash. The tarnished brass buttons brought back an instant memory, his kiss at the kitchen sink. The sweater clung to the faint odor of him, cheap spicy aftershave mixed with nicotine.


"What is this doing in the trash?" I yanked it out of the morning egg shells.


"What are you doing with an old thing like that, anyway?" Vinny crossed his arms.


"I like it," I said, "What else matters?"


It was my history not his. He didn't need to know how I came by it nor why I chose to keep it.


"You never wear it."


"Because, I couldn't find it.....obviously." Things were mixed up since Vinny moved in.


"It's been in your closet for ages."


"You haven't been here that long."


"Long enough, Monica." His dark eyes glared at me, "What is so damn special about that sweater?"


"It's..it's all I have left."


I told him all there was to know about Bo. It was one of those in between things, in between semesters, in between boyfriends, but it was special. We'd seen 311 together at the Ranch Bowl.

Back before May, last year. A chill of spring in the air. I suppose that's how I got the sweater and the memory that I wanted him to be my lover. The kind of thing I read about in English class. The kind of thing where thoughts are savored for that intense moment that you know the true meaning of love. It kind of made me sick now to think I thought like that once of a mere long haired moocher.


"Left of what?"


"I don't like this Vinny," I said, "We're going to have a fight, aren't we?"


"What do you mean? Like a boxing match? This is a discussion."


"There's nothing to discuss." I put the sweater in the wash.


"I think there's something you're not telling me."


Vinny was such a little boy at times. I liked that about him in the beginning. He amused me with his quaint cuteness. He was the child I wanted. I watched his lips pout. He could look quite pathetic when he wanted with those puppy eyes.


"It's just....


"Who's sweater is it, Monica?"


"It was a gift. All right."


I guess Bo forgot about it, but it seemed like a gift after all this time. He was not coming back for it. There was no reason too. He was a nomad by nature.


"An old sweater?" I heard him laugh. "Who gave you the sweater, Monica?"


"I wish you wouldn't make such a big deal out of this."


"A big deal? You're the one making a big deal, Monica."


It was Saturday. We were suppose to be in the car driving around town looking for garage sales, even a trip to a nearby state park. We were to be together.


"I am not."


"I'm your boyfriend, right?" Vinny said, "and...and..if this is something that's going to come between us..then...."


"Then what?"


"It's either the sweater, or me....has to go."


I'd never seen such distrust in those eyes before. What a baby.


"Oh...God...get real...PLEASE...don't make this such a stupid thing!"


But I could see his disgust. He paced in the kitchen until he went to the bathroom. I heard the clutter on the the bathroom counter hit the floor. He was getting his things together to leave.


I banged on the bathroom door.


"What are you doing?"


"What do you think I'm doing?"


There he was with his satchel filled with his basic essentials from the bathroom.


"C'mon, you can't be serious."


"You don't think I'm serious?" Vinny said, "I'm ready to walk out that door if you don't throw that sweater away!"


"It's just a sweater."


"Right, that's all it is, Monica....just a sweater."


"So forget about the sweater."


"No, you forget about the damn sweater."


Vinny cut past me to the bedroom. I followed, watching him find his suitcase in his organized closet. The man made me furious with all his energy to have everything in order. I thought I loved that about him since I was a dysfunctional clutter magnet. I could never find my reading glasses, and I'm not sure where my coffee mugs disappear too . Probably under the couch, but that was spotless, too.


"Do you realize what this would mean?" I asked, "We'd have to start dividing our stuff." I looked at the firm queen sized bed. The plaid, blue and white comforter creased neatly under the pillow. He loved that bed made to perfection. I wanted to jump on it to cause some kind of disorder, but I didn't. "Who'd get the bed?"


"I bought that bed."


"But we made love on that bed before we ever had a bed frame for it."


"We didn't have sheets on that bed."


He remembered. He knew that day when it wouldn't stop raining, and we couldn't get enough of each other. I remember the sweat, maybe the humidity. No, it was just us, and I knew then how it would be if we were together. It was fast. It was furious, foreplay, floor-play, anywhere it could happen, and it did. It was a craving. I smiled. How could he be mad over such a little thing, the old sweater.


"It's our bed." I told him, "You couldn't possibly go to bed with someone else in our bed."


"But it's okay if you keep some old lover's sweater?"


"A sweater can be washed."


"You don't ever think about him, do you when...when..when we're together, do you?"


I noticed he was hardly finding anything to pack in his empty suitcase.


"Of course not."


I pushed my fingers through my wavy hair. This was the headache from hell. This was not suppose to be happening. My parents were coming tomorrow for brunch. We were grownups. My parents were waiting patiently for a wedding date soon.


I closed his empty suit case, latched it and put it back in the closet. I looked at him then. Those dark eyes of his were crying.


If we looked at each other long enough, I knew it would happen. It did. He peeled my undershirt off before any second thoughts.


I'm not sure how we could undress quite that fast. I'd hate to see it on video. I'm sure it wouldn't be pretty. The trouble he had getting out of his underwear was sometimes enough cause for a laugh. Anyhow, it was fun in bed.


There was no time for foreplay just the kissing, a playful passion to get from plan A to plan B. Luckily, we stayed on the bed. The sweat dripped among other things, and the exercise always left me hungry. Only I didn't like to cook, and he laid there in exhaustion for the most part which generally left him in a deep sleep of snoring. It was like I knew what was going to happen before we got there on this Saturday romp.


But that's not what happened. Of course, he made his little jumps from here to there. At this rate, we'd need a new bed by the time we got married. Vinny was hard on furniture. I could only hope someday he might slow down, and I'd have half as much fun as he seemed to have in his vigor of hasty intercourse.


There were times when I might have asked, "Is it over already?"


Once when he had to be in class in fifteen minutes he left in a hurry then I heard the door unlock. I asked him if he forgot something. He shook his head, and we had a quickie in the living-room floor.


I remembered Regis was were on. I had watched the show upside down. I am sure I didn't appreciate all this as much as he did.


When we were done that was on my mind. My head hanging off the bed, looking upside down with the blood rushing to my brain. I was in a pool of sweat, famished and wondering why he wasn't in his corner snoring. No, he got up, found his underwear in a ball under the bed. He dressed quickly, and I wrapped myself up in the sheet, laying there wondering why this happened.


Nothing said, nothing broken. He was going. I felt bitter about this, and yet I knew there was no romance, not really. I didn't feel for him what I felt for Bo and the old sweater. Just the same, my body didn't believe me. It felt complete next to his. It found delight in his warmth, the sensation in his cool sweat. I wasn't sure I could go on without him.


But the door slammed shut. There was the old sweater. The trouble heaped on the bedroom floor. There was no nostalgia left in it.


I got up then to look through the dirty clothes. There it was. His favorite gray Red Dog T-shirt. I put it on. I wondered how long I'd have to wear it before I washed it.