Friday, July 6, 2007

to talk or not to talk

Nobody is really talking to me. Of course, Jonah's Mom had a long talk with my sister on the phone. I could hear them last night, and I know she's up to something.
Jonah will not even look at me.
I feel like I'm in a fog. Its just a blur now. And..and Jonah's Mom thinks it would be a good idea if I stayed the weekend at my sister's.
"You need to talk."
But I don't want to because I know this is more like an intervention or something. Which is crazy. Right? I spend one night with a guy. Its not like I'm going to run away with him or anything.
Of course, a phone call would be nice. Something. Its not like I have a way to reach him.
Honestly, maybe I'm on the verge of a nervous something another.
Maybe it'll do me good to get away from here, but I don't think so. I cleaned my room. Finally. But then I kind of tossed most of my clothes in a box and stuck them in the basement.
I tried to read a book, but I didn't get very far. My babysitter was wanting to get me the new Harry Potter book coming out, but I've never cracked one of them open. Ok, I did, and I didn't like it much. I know I have a short attention span. So I must be stupid. And I felt like an idiot listening her go on and on about the books she wants her kids to read, but to never see the movies.
I am sad. Sad about so many things. I have these bouts of crying, but then it stops. And, I'm still in shock that Jessie would ever want to be with me. Then I wonder if he'll ever call. If I'll ever see him again. If.

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